Didja Miss Me?

Whew. 

As it does, Life Got Hectic.

Here is a summary of things that happened in the second half of 2014:

May

• Laid off from a job I loved. The company wasn’t doing well and still isn’t, and has literally gone from 250 employees in its heyday to about 30. I have made some really awesome friends at that job, and it was like being thrown out of a a family. I am afraid for other friends who are still there.
• I find another job and, despite my disbelief, manage to land it. I start at a new company downtown, doing something pretty interesting with some intelligent, pleasant people. I mostly keep to myself.

June

• My car begins to act up.
• I rent a car and a friend and I head up to Atlanta for my best friend’s baby shower. When we are about to leave and make the drive home, I burst into near-hysterical sobs at the idea of leaving the first place I have been happy in months. My friend warns me that if I am not honest with myself about how I feel at my new job, I will only be more miserable.
• I decide I want to go back to school, and get a Professional Writing Certificate, which is only 15 hours of Grad School classes. Since I don’t need a GRE score to apply, I go for it.

July

• July 4th weekend doesn’t go well. I’m in a terrible depressive mood and I’m angry about everything. I take it out on my significant other on our way back from a barbeque. I apologize and he forgives me later, but it still bothers me.
• My car continues to deteriorate, and my parents offer to loan me money for a down payment on another. Despite my pride, I take them up on it.
• I get a used 2013 Fiat 500. I love it, but I didn’t negotiate the best finance price. Still, it’s not too much, and I have a reasonable monthly payment.
• Our dryer acts up, and I try to save some money by fixing it myself. I wind up cutting myself  horribly on the unfinished aluminum that houses the heating element, and nearly maim myself. I still don’t have insurance at my new job, so I fix myself up the best I can. My left  is the worse of my thumbs, and bleeds for twelve hours before it stops. Changing the bandages is awkward and painful, and we wind up paying a guy to fix the dryer in addition to getting me a tetanus shot at the Minute Clinic. The NP at the clinic says I should have gone to the ER for stitches, but as it’s closed up now there’s nothing more she can do. I still have a pretty wicked scar, and it doesn’t quite bend the same.

August

• I am accepted to UCF, and am incredibly proud.
• I attend orientation and realize I should have already signed up for classes. I scramble to find one that’s both online and open, and wind up signing up for one that is WAY above my level.
• A recruiter contacts me for a possible job opening at a company most of my friends work at. I send him my resume, and he says he’ll be in touch.
• I make an impulse decision and buy tickets for Nine Inch Nails for myself and my significant other. It’s my first time seeing them live, but I’ve been a fan since 1995.
• At the show, I find out Robin Williams has died. We still have a good time, but I am upset. I haven’t written my feelings out about that because it’s still taking a while for everything to settle down. I see a quote later about the whole thing: “Being lonely isn’t the worst thing in the world; the worst thing in the world is being around people who make you feel alone” and I realize I have been unhappy for some time now.
• Terrible news: my Aunt has died, very unexpectedly, at the age of 53. Her 21-year-old son found her. She had been there a few days with no air conditioning on, and temperatures in South Georgia were in the high 90s.
• The family gets together in Waycross to help my cousin make the arrangements and help him clean out his mother’s apartment. She had been hoarding and hadn’t cleaned for years. My other aunt and I do most of the cleaning so my mother and cousin don’t see the worst of it.

September

• The first weekend in September, a week after she passed, we bury her. Because of her condition, it is a closed casket. Despite how upset I am, I am a pallbearer, and I am proud to say I was able to carry my share of the burden. We bury her on September 5th, which happens to be my mother’s birthday. The rest of the weekend is difficult, but the family does its best.
• The rest of September is busy, yet a blur. I have things written down on my calendar and I know I was busy, but unless I look it up I have no idea what happened during that month.
• As I am doing my coursework, I realize that I am really in over my head in the course, and that my heart isn’t in pursuing the professional writing certificate. I decide I will do my best to finish the semester and then bow out. Realizing this is liberating for me – I am glad I took the course and had the experiences I did, and want to pursue my MA in Creative Writing, but not now.
• At work, my lead writes me a heartfelt email about how much he appreciates my efforts on our project. Other people express how much they like me and appreciate my work. I appreciate it, but I still feel hollow.

October

• Life moves forward. I do things with friends, and try to get out more. I try to make an effort to work on my novel.
• I see some movies with friends, including a special midnight showing of Aliens at our local art/revival theater, the Enzian. It’s a great time and I feel appreciated.
• My job has an employee appreciation day at Wonderworks, an Orlando attraction that is part-fun center, part science museum. We do laser tag, and there is a ROPES course on the top floor that is 30 feet high. It dredges up memories of a ROPES course I took in high school over the summer.
• I volunteer at Central Florida VegFest, a huge vegetarian/vegan festival. It’s fascinating, and educational, but I am not inspired to give up meat or dairy. Just to eat from more humane sources.
• Halloween at work is fun – I go as the Winter Soldier from the recent Captain America movie. I wear it to my friend’s huge yearly Halloween party and it’s a big hit.
• I try to get back into working out regularly, since Tough Mudder 2014 is coming up and I don’t want to embarrass myself.

November

• My parents come for the TM, and it’s a lot of fun. Some of my former coworkers are there, and we run into each other at various obstacles. I carry someone’s brother during the Wounded Warrior carry, and I’m surprised I’m able to do it. I’m not as sore afterward as I thought I would be, although I get stuck in the mud on the last obstacle.
• I take all of us to see Gone With the Wind at the Enzian for a belated birthday event for my Mom, as she is a “Southern Bell” and her actual birthday was a dreary affair because of the funeral. It is a big hit – although it was my first time seeing it and I had Opinions, I keep them to myself (mostly) so as not to spoil our time.
• I get contacted by the recruiter again, and I finally interview at the company where all my friends work. I don’t expect anything to come of it deep down, and when I get the offer I am shocked… I’m so surprised I can’t even think how I feel. They want me to start the following week, but I insist on putting in a full two weeks’ notice where I am. I tell my coworkers and bosses first thing in the morning rather than agonize over it all day.
• I stay home for Thanksgiving, and make a meal for my significant other and I since he has to work. I am hugely thankful for how well I am doing in life, and spend most of the holiday alone, mentally recharging.

December

• Day two of my new job, and I’m happier than I’ve been in months. I’m getting a little pay raise, I work ten minutes from my house, and best of all, I’m working with almost two dozen people from my old job, several of which I count among my close friends.
• Just now, I wrote my final paper for my class. I’m thrilled to be done with it, and haven’t felt this free or happy in a long time.
• I have Big Plans for Xmas presents, my boyfriend is graduating with his BS, and I feel like I am getting back to a regular workout regimen again. I can finally appreciate how good life is again.

TL;DR:

Please forgive me my ramble! I have had a rough few months and I just had to make a mark on the internet for the exact moment when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel again!

I hope to get back into the habit of posting film reviews (I have a LOT of them in backlog!) regularly again, and reading other people’s blogs. I do miss catching up with folks!

Have a wonderful rest of your day! I hope we can catch up soon!

Author: jennnanigans

Orlando-area writerly person. View all posts by jennnanigans