Glorious Golden Blonde Entry: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

In the life of a film fan, there are only two times you watch a Marilyn Monroe film: There’s the first time you see her, in all her glory, and realize what the big deal is all about, and there’s the time you realize you’ve watched all the movies she ever made; that there are no more. Barring someone having some old home movies they release, or maybe some stills or cut footage from the finished films that were forgotten in someone’s attic for sixty years, there will be no more. I think this applies to any other actors and actresses who died young, but the first time I became aware of this phenomenon was with Marilyn.

You know who she is.

Growing up, you knew her face, even if you had never seen any of her movies. You saw her everywhere, on all kinds of products and in all kinds of places. You heard her name in movies, cartoons, songs, read it in books, magazines, and on billboards or perfume bottles. She has been written about, studied, photographed, filmed, re-imagined, marveled at, and explored literally more than the bottom of Earth’s oceans. And due to her untimely and mysterious death, she went from being simply famous to a legend.

Maybe, like me, you reached a point where you wanted to know just who the hell Marilyn Monroe was, and what the big fuss was about. WHY was Madonna trying so hard to be this person in the 80s? And why was everyone so skeptical about her achieving it? At the time, the similarities to me were more numerous than the differences: they were both blonde, white, and famous, both were beautiful, and both were paid vast sums of money for doing things that sometimes involved taking their clothes off. I readily admit that at 10, many nuances about life were lost on me.

When I was about 19, I worked in a retail video store called Suncoast. If you wanted to buy a movie that wasn’t on the top 10 rack at Target or the grocery store, that’s where you went. We had thousands of movies, including foreign films, imported anime (which was where you had to get it before places like Cartoon Network showed it), informational stuff, old tv shows, and softcore pr0n.

My boss was a man whose encyclopedic knowledge of film was nothing short of staggering. Did you see something once where a guy had a dangerous operation while his wife looked on and she was crying and wearing a red hat? That guy with the mustache was in it? I just made that shit up and Bill would have recommended a movie to me. A movie with that exact scene in it. SERIOUSLY.  He was that good. “Oh Bill, I saw this German made-for-tv movie that only played twice on one channel in Berlitz and it may have starred a man with two legs. It was about the history of the xylophone, but not really, it was all just a metaphor. There was a scene with a basket of figs. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

And he would. 

He only looked up things to get serial numbers when he ordered them for people. He often described himself as ‘The Jewish Geppetto’ (referring to Pinocchio’s creator) and was a retired phlebotomist. He and his boyfriend had been together longer than I had been alive, and they had a sulphur-crested cockatoo they referred to as ‘the chicken.’ I would like to look him up sometime to see how he’s doing, but I digress.

When I told him I loved movies,  but had never seen one with Marilyn Monroe, he told me I needed to do that. That it was important.

So I did. I didn’t watch one right away, it took me a little while to finally sit still and do it (I think of my late teens and early twenties as my fidgety years), but I did.

Man.

Who wouldn't want to be that flower stem?
A candid shot

In the life of a film fan, there are only two times you watch a Marilyn Monroe film: There’s the first time you see her, in all her glory, and realize what the big deal is all about, and there’s the time you realize you’ve watched all the movies she ever made; that there are no more. Barring someone having some old home movies they release, or maybe some stills or cut footage from the finished films that were forgotten in someone’s attic for sixty years, there will be no more. I think this applies to any other actors and actresses who died young, but the first time I became aware of this phenomenon was with Marilyn.

The first Monroe film I ever saw was Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. I was hooked.

Blondes is the story of diamond-hungry Lorelei Lee and down-to-earth Dorothy Shaw, the latter played with a charming brassiness by Jane Russell. The two are showgirls, and Lorelei is engaged to Gus Esmond, the son of a millionaire. She intends to marry him, but Gus’s father is opposed to the match, viewing Lorelei as a ‘blonde mantrap.’

Lorelei and Dorothy embark on a trip to Paris so that Lorelei and Gus can be married, but Gus’s father calls him at the last minute and prevents him from going with them. The girls go by themselves, with Gus promising to find Lorelei, and giving her a letter of credit to spend as she likes. Unbeknownst to them, following the two is Sam Malone, a private investigator hired by Gus’s father to dig up dirt on Lorelei.

There are numerous hijinks and some glorious musical numbers, as well as some really hilarious jokes. The writing for Dorothy especially is great, as is Russell’s performance as a sultry, sharp-witted brunette to Monroe’s wide-eyed ingenue balances the movie well.

What I especially like about this film is how my appreciation of it has grown over the years. In the beginning, I was mostly enjoying the songs and the banter and the clothes. Now, I look at Lorelei’s somewhat pragmatic approach to life by marrying rich with a new perspective. I’ve struggled to make ends meet, and I know what it is to be panicked that you have six dollars to your name, barely any food in the house, and another thirteen days to go until payday. I had a lot of fears and nightmares in that situation; for example, what if my cat got sick? Or worse, what if my parents became ill or were in an accident and I flat out didn’t have the gas money to drive the 85 minutes to see them? My friends would have helped me out, and I am fortunate for that, but I can’t help but feel that it would be failing as an adult to find myself in a situation like that, and not be able to do anything about it, especially when the amount of money in question is so little.  I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have an ill spouse or child and find myself in the same circumstance.

“If a girl spends all her time worrying about the money she doesn’t have, when does she have time for love?” is her logic, and it’s not entirely as warped or materialistic as it sounds; most relationships and marriages break up in times of financial crises, showing that the strain of financial straits isn’t to be dismissed. It’s one thing to never have any money because of your own bills and spending habits; it’s quite another when you’re broke because of someone else. So, while it might not seem to be the most altruistic rationale, it’s definitely realistic. It’s better to have money and not need it than need it and not have it, as the saying goes.

Granted, I’m not talking about supporting a Kardashian lifestyle, here. Just covering the bare necessities with a bit left over for savings and the occasional trip or present or meal out is my idea of having made it, financially.

Anywhoo, I digress.

WORK. IT.
Lorelei and Dorothy in the dining room

Watch a Monroe movie, any one, maybe not even this one. Although it is WORTH it to see this one, just for Lorelei and Dorothy strutting through the middle of the ship’s dining room, Lorelei in orange, and Dorothy in shimmering dark green. Especially the ones in color… Marilyn’s ruby lips and sapphire eyes are a special effect unto themselves!

I’m Back! A Personal Entry

Things are well, and couldn’t be better, but even though everything is going great I still have my bad days, where I am doubtful of myself, and of others. But trust is a thing that takes a long time to build, and like anything else you build, it must be maintained, and practiced. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

It’s been over a year since I posted anything here, but I’m back now!

Basically I just got kind of busy living life. I also don’t have a computer to use at home, mine broke down and I still haven’t replaced it. I decided I wanted to live OFF the internet as much as possible, and sort of figure out what I wanted to use it for, rather than just fall into it again.

I’d also like to tell you about where I’ve been, and where I hope I am going!

Here I am in December of 2009, when I got to meet Neil Gaiman! I was about 35 lbs overweight, and still had my dreadlocks. I am pretty sure by this time I had lost my job again, having been laid off from a temp job I’d gotten.

me_Neil_Kris_2009
I have sworn that I will meet him again, and ask him if he remembers the sobbing girl who told him she was so excited to meet him she might throw up on him

I was so excited I cried on his shoulder. He’s one of my IDOLS.     I’ve read his books since about 1999, and his writing has gotten  me through some rough times in my life.

So the next year I was unemployed. I got interested in Bonsai, but didn’t have any money for it. I learned how to make do. I still did things, I had a few interviews, and even went on a trip to Atlanta with my best friend’s mother to help plan my best friend’s wedding. Something happened on that trip– I started to realize my self-worth again. I had become angry, and bitter, and miserable, but my best friend treated me with the same cheerful acceptance she always had. She, her mother, and her in-laws and friends all did the same, and I started to remember what being happy was like.

But there are still VERY few pictures of me between 2006 and 2011. I just couldn’t stand to see what I’d become– physically and spiritually.

In August of 2010, I got a callback for an interview. The job would have been amazing– 40 an hour, on a contract. I made a decision: I sat down, and with my then-boyfriend’s help and a huge tub of conditioner, combed out my dreadlocks.

me_with_dreads
These dreads were made with the crochet and handroll method, and I washed them once a week. They had completely locked up without any products at all!

It took 40 hours. It was one of those things that just NEEDED to be done. I had enjoyed having weird hair, it got me a lot of attention, but I was ready to move on. I cut off the dead ends, got a pro haircut for the first time in almost 4 years, and nailed the interview. They wanted me to start immediately.

I didn’t get the job that I’d gone to all that trouble for, but I got an even better one, for a government contractor that a friend set me up with. I started working there in October of 2010, and I am happy and proud to say that I am still here! I paid off my car, paid down some of my consumer debt I incurred from being unemployed, and started trying to do more positive things with my time. I also cut way back on my internet usage, because I was distracting myself a great deal.

In March of 2011, I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic. My fasting blood sugar was 143, my cholesterol was 195, and I was miserable most of the time. I was also drunk most of the time, too, with a highly cynical view of the world. Being diagnosed as something, even as pre-something, was a pretty big shakeup.

Only three tummy rubs, then death
Herzog demonstrates what I was doing most of the time

 

So I cut back. On EVERYTHING.

I cut back on drinking. I stopped eating carbs, almost completely. I got into the whole Paleo-Primal Blueprint thing, and I started following a more structured workout program.  I challenged myself almost daily, in every aspect of my life. I chatted pleasantly with strangers, I walked places I had previously driven, I practiced looking people in the eye when I talked to them.

I didn’t realize the weight was coming off until I saw how much bigger my clothes were on me, and when my friends told me I was losing weight. I lost about 30 pounds, my cholesterol went down 30 points, my blood pressure too, and I am managing my blood sugar without needing any medication.

I even self-published a novel!  It’s called The Secret Wilderness, and I had been working on it while I was unemployed. It’s pretty dark though, at least to me. I wrote it while I was in a very bad headspace, and self-published it in a whirlwind of activity so it’s not the best thing I’ve written. But you have to write the bad books out of yourself before you can get to the good ones, and so I am still writing, and still trying. For the rest of my life, I will tell stories. It’s up to other people if they would like to hear them or not.  The Secret Wilderness on Amazon has the first six pages available, if you’d like to check it out!

In May of 2011 I realized that I had been unhappy for a long time, and that getting to know myself was going to be hard. I was reevaluating where I had been, what I wanted, and where I was going in life. I ended a ten-year relationship because I desperately needed to find out who I was, and I couldn’t do that while I was with someone. It was very hard, and certainly hurt someone very deeply, but I wanted everyone to be happy, and that included me.

October 2011
I took this in October of 2011, it’s the first photo of me with contacts!

I lived in my little apartment with my cat, Herzog, for a few months. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding for the first time, I went out with friends when I could, I worked out and swam and read and watched movies and just lived life. It was very quiet, but definitely what I needed. I reconnected with old friends and family, and all of them said that not only did I look different, but that I had a new light in my face and happiness in my voice that they hadn’t heard in years.

In October of 2011, I got myself contact lenses for my birthday. I had never worn them before. I still wear them almost every day, only wearing glasses when I feel lazy or on weekends. Or when I want to watch a sad movie and might need to cry!

That same night, one of my oldest and dearest friends threw me a birthday party. She had invited many of my new friends from work, and one of those friends brought a friend along who lived in Miami, but was intending to move to Orlando. And that was how I met Jonathan.

 

 

Jon at Flagler Museum, St. Augustine
Taken at Flagler Museum during our 2012 St. Augustine trip. You can barely see Samantha, his husky, down there on the right. She found the fountain water delicious!

Jonathan worked in a hospital when I met him. We have been dating since November of 2011, and I am thankful every single day that he is in my life. He’s a wonderful, kind, and considerate person, and anyone would be lucky to have him in their life.

Jon moved in with me in October of 2012, applied and was accepted to UCF, and looked for a job. He found one, and started working at another hospital earlier this week.

Things are well, and couldn’t be better, but even though everything is going great I still have my bad days, where I am doubtful of myself, and of others. But trust is a thing that takes a long time to build, and like anything else you build, it must be maintained, and practiced. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

For a long time, I had a complex about happiness, and smiling. I thought if you weren’t happy, and pretended that you were, you were lying to yourself and others and hiding from the truth. But I’ve found that sometimes, even when you don’t feel like smiling, the act of DOING IT, and of telling people ‘No, I’m okay,’ sometimes helps you feel better. I was mostly expressing negativity when I did express my feelings, because I felt bitter and cynical all the time. I didn’t realize how GREAT I had things until I was able to get some peace and quiet and find myself again. I took a lot of things for granted, I realize. Now I appreciate life and my friends, and when I encounter a negative situation I challenge myself to see the good in it. Doing so has become second-nature, so much so that people often comment on how positive I am these days, and how I can see the good in anything.

So! This post will serve as a milestone in the new path I’ve already started! I’ll still do film reviews and such here, but I’m thinking about starting a whole new blog that is more about me and daily life. And quite honestly, I have begun reading some new, positive blogs about things that I’ll be linking to and hope to meet some new people that way.

And so this post is the first post in the rest of my life, heh!

Thank you for reading, I hope you’ll stick around for more!

 

Spotlight: Rowan Atkinson – Unlikely Sex Symbol

Oh yeah. That’s the stuff. I think it’s the beard. And the ‘Come Hither So I Can Rummage In Thy Pantaloons’ stare.

Rowan Atkinson has never been one of those men who enjoy the spotlight they deserve. Active for at least 30 years, he has created at least two well-loved characters that most people recognize instantly, Mr. Bean and Blackadder. Today I’m mostly focusing on those two characters as they are so diametrically opposed to one another, while shining the spotlight of this blog’s massive readership (21 people read it the other day, y’all! INTERNET FAME ACHIEVED!!  😀 )  on an actor who has been criminally underexposed for the majority of his career.

Many people encounter Atkinson and definitely recognize him, but can’t always say from what. His distinctive, un-traditionally handsome face leaves an impression, and even if you’ve only seen him as a minor character in films or caught an episode of Mr. Bean when you were little, as I did, or recognize his voice as that of Zazu from The Lion King. I first noticed him in The Witches, which I saw in the theater with my Grandmother. And here and there he’d pop up in various things, until I remember the Mr. Bean movie coming out around my first year of college. I’d seen a few episodes of Bean, and while the movie was entertaining it didn’t really grab me (or many other people, as I recall it bombed in the U.S.).

When I worked in Suncoast, a movie store no longer extant,  a gentleman ordered the Blackadder series on VHS (yes, it was that long ago). I looked over the box and realized A. I would probably love this, B. I would not be able to see it unless I rented it, C. I would probably become obsessed with it, and D. I would therefore not look into it right then. It’s an odd thought process that hasn’t always served me well, as I do miss out on a lot of media that is sometimes best enjoyed when the cultural zeitgeist is hitting, but also means that when I finally get around to those rare gems, (like when I finaly saw Babe: Pig in the City around when my father’s friend passed away), it’s that much more poignant.

Anyway, I didn’t get to Blackadder right away. Nor a few years later when a friend introduced me to Blackadder the Third–I *did* love it, but again, couldn’t afford to buy the DVDs or and nowhere around me rented them.

Now that I’ve seen the whole series on Instant Watch, I freaking LOVE. IT.

Atkinson is brilliant. Granted, the first season was not as stellar as the latter ones, or at least to me; Blackadder the First is a very craven, sniveling character, and there are hints in him of the later character Atkinson would create, Mr. Bean. The real shift began with 2, when Blackadder becomes a more scheming, aggressive character. He’s a blackguard, a dastard, a rake–not quite a villain, but close. He’s definitely closer to one of those words filling 19th-century women’s fiction, and that you KNOW you ought to stay away from and yet are still fascinated by.

Oh yeah. That’s the stuff. I think it’s the beard. And the ‘Come Hither So I Can Rummage In Thy Pantaloons’ stare.

Anyhoodle, Atkinson as a sex symbol is probably a phrase most often printed or Googled with a question mark at the end of it for most people, but I don’t know, there’s definitely something going on there. He doesn’t have that dead ‘this is a headshot like so many millions of others I have done’ stare–the most attractive people, in my opinion, are the ones with something going on behind their eyes. Atkinson is an intelligent guy, most good comedians are, and Blackadder itself doesn’t always go for the cheap laughs; jokes about Boswell, the Romantic poets, Sir Walter Raleigh, and obscure songs from the British trenches of World War 1–all were fodder for the series’ writers. And even if you don’t get the references all the time, the jokes still bring in the laughs, just from the performances. Fans of the show ‘House’ are often surprised to find a very young Hugh Laurie among the cast, and in my opinion I’d rather watch 5 minutes of his Prince George than the entire series of House anytime. There’s no real comparison as the shows are so different, but personally I much prefer his comedy to his drama–nothing against the actor, I’ve just only seen him act dramatically in House and would rather see him being a happy goofball.

Atkinson has never really captured the zeitgeist in America, although the right project could come along and change that. I remain the eternal optimist, what can I say!

I would like to express a heartfelt ‘You’re awesome!’ to the man in the hopes that one day he will come across this blog and see that there are a least a few people in the U.S. who adore his work and want him to keep making more of it!

Thanks Rowan Atkinson! I hope you’re around for many, many more years, doing projects that you love and gain you the recognition you deserve!

The Obligatory ‘I’m Back And I Have Been Busy!’ Post!

As a hobbit once said at the end of a rather long and involved debacle, “Well, I’m back.”

And so I am! While I was away from posting regularly, I:

  • Ended a long relationship (10 years)
  • Moved
  • Lost 30 pounds
  • Remembered I am not a failure at life
  • Began a new relationship

The business of Being Jen is, as the kids say, SRS BZNSS.

Anyhoodle. I am back, and intend to be posting more often.

So much to write about and wibble about! Thor 2, The Dark Knight Rises, Brave, and I even saw The Muppets in the theater! Haven’t seen anything in the theater in months! MONTHS!

“The Dark Knight Rises” Trailer

Dear Christopher Nolan:

GRAAAAAAAAAAAABRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
This is hot for what are probably all the wrong reasons.

I saw very little of Bane in the Dark Knight Rises teaser that was attached to Harry Potter last night. From what little I saw. . . .

This was the correct choice.

In fact, it was more than the correct choice.

It was SO FUCKING RIGHT.

Thank you.

That is all.