Super Secret Swag Documents

In which Jennnanigans recounts the story of how she unexpectedly received some awesome promotional material from The Shape of Water, owing to a recent viewing and review. The material was not requested and was a total surprise upon arrival. Jennnanigans was not paid or compensated for this blog entry in any way. 

Good morning and happy Friday!

Last night while watching a video on bullet journaling, I heard a knock at my front door. Expecting a belated Xmas gift, I was surprised to find a long, rectangular package with a return address reading Fox Searchlight Pictures. I was further surprised to find the package was addressed to me, at this blog title.

Anyway, when I opened the package….

I found wonders!

First, there was a cylinder. The cylinder was a color best described as a late 50s/early 60s aquamarine most often found in old lady jewelry. Tantalizing labels identified the cylinder as ‘classified’ and belonging to the Aerospace Research arm of the Department of Defense. The name ‘Guillermo Del Toro’ sort of gave away the surprise, but I was utterly charmed by the presentation and packaging.

canister
Mysteeeeeerious! 

Opening the cylinder revealed classified documents!

(NOTE: for the benefit of Homeland Security – just kidding! This is all pretend. PLEASE DON’T SEND ME TO PRISON). 

redacted
The ‘redactions’ are an awesome touch. Again — THIS IS ALL FAKE! I SWEAR! 

The enclosed memo detailed how the anatomical drawing had been found in London and indicated humanity’s previous discovery of the Amphibian Man. It honestly underscored the Abe Sapien connection a lot of people have made between this movie and the Hellboy mythos, due to Del Toro’s involvement. I love it!

The paper looks light here, but it’s actually a nice tobacco brown and feels like waxed butcher paper. Someone made some additional notes in pen, which totally brought the whole thing together.

anatomy
I’m leaving the images this size so the text is not legible – I’m not supposed to duplicate anything so hopefully this doesn’t count as that. How hilarious would it be if I went to prison and had to explain myself there? ‘Oh you killed your cheating ex-boyfriend with a meat fork? Well here’s what *I* did…’ 

The insets detail ‘scientific’ observations on Amphibian Man’s head, hands, and heart. So fitting for a movie that is a romance! SYMBOLISM.

This is the exact sort of thing I love. In truth I’m not sure it’s a collectible at all – I haven’t noticed any numbers on it, such as might indicate how many were made. I guess it’s just promotional material, which is fine by me. I love it!

I like to say I’m not a collector, but the reality is I am just cheap and lazy. I would never buy something like this unless it was super cheap and a one of a kind, which never happens. The closest I got to buying some collectibles was when Hannibal and Penny Dreadful were cancelled and started auctioning props, but I chickened out because the website asked for my Social Security number, which I found INCREDIBLY SHADY. Needless to say, I somehow found the strength to go on without Hannibal’s kitchen knives or Vanessa’s creepy possessed doll. But barely. Barely. 

I never get anything signed and if I do, I get it signed to me with the intention of keeping it F O R E V E R. I got a poster from The Shape of Water critic’s screening I attended a few weeks ago, and intended to frame it but couldn’t decide whether it would live in my home or office. Now I don’t have to decide! I can have images in both locations!

So that is how I found a box of magic on my doorstep! These materials were a very, very nice surprise and I am so grateful I have some beautiful art to hang up!

If I don’t see you, Happy New Year! 2018 awaits!

Author: jennnanigans

Orlando-area writerly person.

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