Hellraiser IV: Bloodline (aka Pinhead In Space)

October is Horror Movie month, where we let down our hair and celebrate all things macabre and scary! Not that we don’t during the rest of the year, but still… HORROR MOVIES! People who don’t like horror are encouraged to check back November 1st for less bloody and/or disturbing films. For everyone else, let’s put on our galoshes and WADE INTO THE MIRE! 

Today’s post is about the Hellraiser series and unfortunately is NSFW – mostly because it’s damn near impossible to show work-safe images from the movies. Also LOTS OF gore, S&M, torture, physical, mental, and sexual abuse…

….Man… you start listing all the disturbing things in this series and wonder what you’re doing with your time…

ANYWAY! On to the review!

PIIIINHEAD INNN SPAAAACE!
PIIIINHEAD INNN SPAAAACE!

With a different director and no studio interference, Bloodline would have been a very different movie. As the Wiki points out, there was much studio interference with production, and no less than three directors are credited: Kevin Yagher, a well-known and respected effects wizard who, among other things, designed Freddy Krueger and the Cryptkeeper but walked off production because of the studio’s meddling; Joe LaChappelle, who was brought on to try and cobble together what he could out of the remaining production; and the most nefarious name of all, Alan Smithee… who does not actually exist.

Alan Smithee is a Hollywood pseudonym; it’s the name directors put on films they don’t want to be associated with. It’s usually what happens with, as we’ve just discussed, a movie gets fiddled and diddle with until it’s all but impossible to make anything useful out of it.

With no studio meddling, Bloodline might have been something more akin to Event Horizon, a brilliant, classic horror film that toyed with infernal presences in space. I’d sure like to think so; the movie’s storyline is actually pretty out of the box (HA!). The fact that several famous horror directors, including Guillermo Del Toro himself, passed on it, has become internet legend.

Rather than just throw more teenagers at Pinhead to kill, the story explores the mythology behind the LeMarchand Configuration, aka the puzzle box, and the literal bloodline of its maker across three different eras: 16th-century France; 20th-century New York/Paris; and the 21st century IN SPACE.

In space, no one can hear this tired cliche.
In space, no one can hear the rest of this tired cliche.

The movie begins in space, in a huge, secure containment facility. A robot in the room is manipulating the puzzle box, guided by a scientist wearing a VR apparatus. The robot finishes and summons Pinhead, who destroys it without much relish, and the trap is sprung– the doors slam shut. A military force appears and drags the scientist away from the console — he’s a Merchant, and he’s trying to fix a mistake made by his ancestors, he explains, but he’s taken over the space station in order to do it.

The bloodline in question belongs to the LeMarchand/Merchant family– whose part of the saga began in France. One night a French toymaker named Philip LeMarchand completes his most recent work, a personal request designed by a local libertine. Unbeknownst to LeMarchand, the libertine has requested a handheld machine of diabolical design that opens a doorway to hell. LeMarchand has a pregnant wife and needs money, so he heads to the fancy country estate to get paid, with the puzzle box in hand.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when who answers the door but none other than Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec, rocking a French Fancy Lad wig!

NO WAY!
NO WAY!

Of course I saw the name ‘Adam Scott’ in the credits but thought ‘Oh, that’s probably some other Adam Scott.’ TIS NOT SO!  He’s Jacques, the libertine’s henchman, and he is every bit as arrogant and insouciant as you can imagine Ben Wyatt being as a snotty French aristocrat. The sun rose and set on this performance, folks. Also, Mr. Scott either has good genes, a great skincare regimen, or a scary portrait in his attic because he’s barely changed at all in the 20 or so years since this film came out.

Anyway, LeMarchand gives up the box, and the libertine and Ben Wyatt murder a prostitute and use her blood to open the doorway, which is common practice in French country houses when company arrives. They summon a demon, Angelique, played by the gorgeous Valentina Vargas, who I know from The Name of the Rose. Undone by terror, LeMarchand hauls ass home to begin work on a second box that can reverse the effects of the first. The libertines immediately begin indulging in filthy sex and murder, with Jacques killing his master and taking over control of the demon, which is also common practice in French country houses.

Purty Girl!
So pretty! 

LeMarchand comes back packing and gets himself smoked, but his child is still alive and continues the bloodline. Here endeth the 16th-century segment of the film.

In the 20th century, the descendant of LeMarchand, John Merchant, is a famous architect and has unwittingly designed a skyscraper around the puzzle box. Photos of the building appear in a French architecture magazine and Angelique wants to go to America in search of it. Jacques, made immortal by her influence, wants to stay in Paris and party, and thus breaks his covenant to not oppose hell, getting himself killed. Angelique manages to summon Pinhead, and the two begin hunting John Merchant and his family, after summoning or creating more cenobites. Chatterer has been replaced by a dog version, and there’s a pair of twins who got screwed (HA!).

It's a good thing the jokes write themselves because I'm worn out
It’s a good thing the jokes write themselves because I’m worn out

One particularly fascinating scene has Pinhead threatening Merchant’s son. I can’t say I was engrossed in the characters enough to worry about the kid, but I did wonder how they got him to act with Doug Bradley. Did they introduce Pinhead fully made up, or did they show the kid the makeup process over time? Did they get to know each other beforehand? Is the kid still acting or sitting quietly in a room somewhere waiting for the med cart to roll through? These and all my other questions could probably be answered by watching the commentary track, if there was one. Or by Googling, if I wasn’t lazy.

Pinhead matching the floor is a nice touch.
Pinhead matching the floor is a nice touch.

Last thoughts: Bloodline was not the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen, but the studio’s efforts to beef up Pinhead’s role in the movie did more harm than good. That said, I really like the idea of nowhere being too far away for Pinhead to reach humanity, since we bring evil and its servants with us wherever we go– after all, we created them. The performances were decent and there were some really good scares and moments of tension. I definitely enjoyed seeing it more than I did when it first came out. And I LOVED the space station folding in on itself  to form a giant Lament Configuration.  It felt like a really fitting end to the series, one that the movie had really earned… even though it wasn’t the ending. It’s never the end of Pinhead, not really! There are more Hellraiser movies, and I might watch them without reviewing.

Well, thanks so much for tuning in for Hell Week, part of Horror Movie Month!

Please keep reading, the next round of posts are ‘Creepy, Creaky Old Houses Week,’ where we’ll switch gears from gore and peeling skin off, to eerie mists, whispering voices, mental illness, and creepy children for some atmospheric, subtle, psychological scares!

Thanks so much for reading and I hope you have a great week!

Hell Week: Hellbound: Hellraiser 2

Today’s post is about the Hellraiser series and unfortunately is NSFW – mostly because it’s damn near impossible to show work-safe images from the movies. Also LOTS OF gore, S&M, torture, physical, mental, and sexual abuse…

….Man… you start listing all the disturbing things in this series and wonder what you’re doing with your time…

ANYWAY! On to the review!

October is Horror Movie month, where we let down our hair and celebrate all things macabre and scary! Not that we don’t during the rest of the year, but still… HORROR MOVIES! People who don’t like horror are encouraged to check back November 1st for less bloody and/or disturbing films. For everyone else, let’s put on our galoshes and WADE INTO THE MIRE! 

Today’s post is about the Hellraiser series and unfortunately is NSFW – mostly because it’s damn near impossible to show work-safe images from the movies. Also LOTS OF gore, S&M, torture, physical, mental, and sexual abuse…

….Man… you start listing all the disturbing things in this series and wonder what you’re doing with your time…

ANYWAY! On to the review!

HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER 2

Pinhead's Driver License Photo
Pinhead’s Driver License Photo

I saw Hellraiser 2 first, at a girl’s slumber party when I was about 12… as one does. Suffice to say it scared the holy living balls out of me and I believe I had my eyes covered for most of the viewing. I wish I could remember whose party it was, because if it was mine GOD I AM SO SORRY OTHER LITTLE GIRLS PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Hellbound begins with the creation of Pinhead, showing his human side fiddling with the puzzle box before being flayed by disembodied hooks. He’s a British soldier who physically survived the horrors of the Great War, but didn’t make it through mentally and he’s been searching the world for his next big thrill as a means to combat his PTSD.

"Dude, could you just... not?"
“Dude, could you just… not?”

The story begins in a mental asylum where Kirsty has been dumped. Due to her somewhat far-fetched story about a magic puzzle box that summons a gang of demonic S&M enthusiasts who skinned her uncle and father, and murdered her stepmother before burning down her house (although the house still seems to be standing, maybe I was drunk and missed something), she’s having a rough time. She’s under the care of Doctor Channard, the kind of mental healthcare professional who is not above experimenting on his patients, experimenting with the occult, or experimenting with large, bloody mattresses that act as gateways to hell.

Kirsty’s dad leaves a bloody post on her wall (HA!) begging for help as he is now trapped in hell.

Me, hungover
Also an accurate depiction of a hangover

Channard has a secret; he already knows about the puzzle box and has been trying to solve it himself, by exploiting a possibly autistic girl named Tiffany who saw her mother murdered. Once Channard has the aforementioned bloody mattress, he leaves a poor, disturbed man prone to self-harm on it and the man proceeds to butcher himself in a heart-wrenching scene that was deeply upsetting to me. The patient is hallucinating that maggots are burrowing into his skin, and when given a straight razor, ‘shaves’ the maggots off himself. The blood-soaked mattress becomes a door and a skinless Julia is resurrected, who wrestles the mental patient to the floor before messily slitting his throat. Imagine a piece of jerky with eyes coming to life, covered with strawberry syrup, and you’ve got Julia.

I am not finding an image of that and needed a break from Googling hellraiser jpgs so here is a corgi in pajamas.
I needed a break from Googling Hellraiser jpgs so here is a corgi in pajamas.

Kirsty realizes what Channard’s up to with the help of a handsome doctor who lasts barely into the first 3rd of the movie, and then she and Tiffany escape into a portal to try and release Larry from hell. Instead, Kirsty finds Frank, who has gone full creepy uncle while trapped in hell and makes disturbing moves on Kirsty. He was the one who sent the original message it turns out, because he and his brother bear a striking resemblance when they aren’t wearing skin. Kirsty escapes him, and she and Tiffany encounter The Leviathan, which is the inanimate master of the hellish labyrinth, and there’ s a lot of running down decrepit stone hallways. That is as close as I can get to explaining what was going on.

File under 'You Had To Be There '
File under ‘You Had To Be There ‘

Meanwhile, Channard was duped into the labyrinth by Julia and turned into a cenobite himself, apparently a more powerful one than the other cenobites, as he kills them. Fun fact: Channard is played by Kenneth Cranham, who appeared as Pompey Magnus in HBO’s wonderful Rome. He does a wonderfully understated job in this film, playing Channard as a man who is not blind to the horrors he’s witnessing, but not put off by them, either. Although he’s the mad doctor in search of truth and it’s a familiar trope, his pursuit is much more earnest than other portrayals I’ve seen. Great job, Mr. Cranham!

"Is there something huge and penile stuck to the back of my head? You'd tell me, right?"
“Damn Caesar! Must he have everything?”

It’s at this point that I got really thrown by the rules of the world. The Leviathan of Christian Mythology is a giant sea monster that symbolizes many different things, but I always understood Barker’s interpretation of Leviathan to be a Prince of Hell. So you’d think it/he/she’d kind of be in control of things, but Channard runs wild, even going into the real world, and kills many of the cenobites. I suppose Leviathan is like a Roman Emperor, waiting to see which of his combatants will emerge victorious. Which makes me wonder, who is in control of the cenobites? The same four appear in both the first and second movies, then die, and then they come back in the third, establishing the pattern of Main Quartet + Guest Star Cenobites. It seems to be another way Barker was bucking the ‘slasher horror’ tropes in that his monsters were sometimes the antagonists and sometimes not. Or maybe there was an overbearing film executive who kept saying things like ‘Just do like in the first movie but more,’ even if it made no sense. Maybe I’m missing a huge chunk of the mythology.

Before He's Put His Face On
Before He’s Put His Face On

Pinhead’s human side is revealed, and he sacrifices himself to save Kristy and Tiffany. Perhaps since he and the other cenobites remembered their humanity they have become weakened and the Leviathan no longer lends them its power. Or something. Channard is pulled apart by the big phallic tentacle growing out of his head and dies, and Kirsty and Tiffany escape to find the puzzle box and close the portal.

All is right with the world, until it isn’t again and the bloody mattress is opened and the whole thing starts over.

Last Thoughts:

I suspect that the less creative input Clive Barker has over the movies the less cohesive their mythologies. In the first film, Pinhead was an enthusiastic enforcer of Hell’s torments. He and the other cenobites only appear to those who summon him, and since the summoners have usually been toddling down the road to self-destruction for some time before encountering the puzzle box, they’ve got some crimes to answer for. The cenobites fulfill a role in their victims’ punishment, and nothing more. In the second film, Pinhead experiences an existential crisis and loses his powers, or seems to. This splits his character into the human and the cenobite and sets up some of the conflict in the 3rd film, Hellraiser: Hell On Earth.

And that’s Hellraiser 2! Thanks for reading and join us on Friday for a discussion of the third installment. Hellraiser: Hell On Earth!

Hell Week: Clive Barker’s Hellraiser

Today’s post is about the Hellraiser series and unfortunately is NSFW – mostly because it’s damn near impossible to show work-safe images from the movies. Also S&M, torture, physical, mental, and sexual abuse…

….Man, you start listing all the disturbing things in this series and wonder what you’re doing with your time…

ANYWAY!

October is Horror Movie month, where we let down our hair and celebrate all things macabre and scary! Not that we don’t during the rest of the year, but still… HORROR MOVIES! People who don’t like horror are encouraged to check back November 1st for less bloody and/or disturbing films. For everyone else, let’s put on our galoshes and WADE INTO THE MIRE! 

This week is Hell Week, where we’ll be focusing the Hellraiser series. Unfortunately these posts are NSFW – mostly because it’s damn near impossible to show work-safe images from the movies. Also LOTS OF gore, S&M, torture, physical, mental, and sexual abuse…

….Man… you start listing all the disturbing things in this series and wonder what you’re doing with your time…

ANYWAY! On to the review!

Here we go, folks!
Here we go, folks!

[DISCLAIMER: I recently watched the first 3 movies, and although I think I saw the “Hellraiser in Space” one, I don’t remember anything from it. I might watch the rest of the series over the month, we will see! Also, brace yourself for bad puns.]

HELLRAISER

I GOT YOU A PRESENT HERE OPEN IT
Fun fact: Pinhead’s real name is ‘Hell Priest’ or ‘Priest,’ and Clive Barker never liked him being called Pinhead. The crew began calling him that during the makeup process and the name stuck (HA!)

Clive Barker wrote and directed the first Hellraiser movie, which is based on his novella The Hellbound Heart. You can’t get much closer to the source material when it comes to realizing an artist’s vision, and that is probably why the first movie is one of the most respected horror films of the genre. When Barker’s good, he’s REALLY good. His characters are fleshed-out (HA!) and believable: boring, staid Larry is trying to rekindle romance with his second wife, Julia, who had an affair years ago with Larry’s hot, globetrotting scumbag brother Frank, who we saw murdered in the film’s opening after he solved a mysterious puzzle box– as one does. Larry and Julia move into Larry’s old childhood home, a BEAUTIFUL old house that Frank has been hiding out in. Thrown into the mix is Kirsty, Larry’s daughter from his first marriage, who doesn’t get along with Julia and has a place of her own. This pic below accurately summarizes Julia’s excitement about moving into the house.

Not Pictured: Thrills. In fact Julia's face tells you how excited she is to be moving into her husband's childhood home
Not Pictured: Thrills.

But surprise! After Larry has an accident that spills blood on the floor, Frank is reborn in possibly the most intense, gross, and visceral rebirthing scene in the history of cinema. The day that CG graphics manage to reproduce anything that stomach-churning, we’ll know it has finally arrived. Practical effects ALWAYS win when it comes to slime, blood, pus, and anything else the body can produce.

Although Frank’s back, he’s missing a few key accessories, like fat and skin, so Julia decides to help him by bringing home dudes she meets in bars and killing them. Frank absorbs their lifeforce and grows less-juicy by the day. She does this because Frank makes her feel alive in ways Larry never did, which is code for ‘he gave her orgasms.’ Fun fact: When the film was being made the name was still undecided, as The Hellbound Heart sounded like a romance. An older woman working on the crew suggested ‘What a Woman Will Do for a Good Fuck,’ which is actually pretty apt.

Aren't you going to invite me into your house and body? I've got exciting, sexy places to be and none of them involve dinner parties
Aren’t you going to invite me into your house and body? I’ve got exciting, sexy places to be and none of them involve dinner parties with my dud of a brother.

There are hints during their interaction at the dinner party that Julia and Larry used to be happy, but considering she hooked up (HA!) with Frank before she even married Larry I wondered what brought them together in the first place. Larry’s just so earnest and eager-to-please… I picture Julia, early in the relationship, having that moment of ‘Well, he’s got a good job and he’s a nice guy, I guess he’s the best I could do.’ Maybe this is clearer in the novella, it’s been 20 years since I read it. Anyway, she meets Frank and is instantly fascinated.

Kirsty makes a deal with the cenobites and manages to save herself and send Frank and Julia to hell, but unfortunately can’t save her father. I’ve always appreciated Barker’s embrace of the theme that people make the best monsters; sure, Pinhead will peel your skin off and nail your eyeballs to his big revolving flesh cabinet, but you EARNED it. Frank and Julia murder Larry for no reason other than they are assholes. The Hellraiser universe (or at least the first film) understands and embraces S&M better than the 50 Shades of Gray films, and I would expand on that idea in another blog post if I weren’t so lazy. Also, I’ve never read 50 Shades of Gray. 

They can come in my house, but they're not sitting on my couch. Not without towels.
They can come in my house, but they’re not sitting on my couch. Not without towels.

Last Thoughts: Normally I can see actor’s faces under anything, or recognize them by their eyes and voices. Doug Bradley is the ONE exception to this. I have never been able to recognize him under the Pinhead makeup. Bravo on both makeup and acting! Fun fact: during the movie’s wrap party, Doug Bradley wondered why no one was talking to him, since he thought he got on well with the crew. Turns out they didn’t recognize him without the makeup.

I STILL don't see it! No idea why!
I STILL don’t see it! No idea why!

So that’s Hellraiser! Thanks for reading, and join us again on Wednesday when we discuss Hellbound: Hellraiser 2!