Heaven’s Gate – A Near Death Experience at 6:22AM

“What a bunch of whackos,” we could be forgiven for thinking. We’ve had over 25 years of brainwashing, after all.

CW: Today’s post discusses mass suicides, cults, child harm, and other unsavory things. I will not be inserting any upsetting pictures. Please proceed with caution!

So, I joined a gym.

That’s not the purpose of this post – not fitspo, not weightloss or bragging about reps or gains or anything else. It is, however, necessary for setting the scene.

But let me back up.

So Wednesday the 22nd, I watched the new WACO documentary on Netflix. I had been looking forward to it for a while – I am old enough to remember when it happened, although at thirteen only recall the beginning and ending, while the weeks in between shootouts didn’t register. In the years since, I’ve become mildly interested in it and read or watch things when they come up. This documentary I found disappointing – it was a lot of sensationalism, some interviews with eye-witnesses, but no analysis or much expert commentary. I have watched other docs on Waco – Ask a Mortician’s examination of it was particularly compelling as she pointed out the failures of law enforcement and how they led to so many unnecessary deaths. The disappointment led me to want to revisit a pretty good one on a true crime show I saw on HBO last year, but I couldn’t remember the title or particulars so I just searched ‘documentaries.’

Which is how I found the Heaven’s Gate: Cult of Cults doc. I didn’t notice the release date and thought it was something from a while back, so I decided to watch.

In short: it is good.

VERY good.


An Anniversary of Sorts

Two years ago, the world lost a great entertainer. On August 11th, 2014, we all found out about Robin Williams’ passing, and the manner of his passing.

I was at the Nine Inch Nails concert in Tampa. It was supposed to be a fun, memory-making occasion – I had loved them since 1995, yet had never seen them live. Somehow I was either always broke, or had some other feeble excuse. in 2014, I bought tickets for me and my then-boyfriend, who wasn’t a fan. In a weird way, I was trying to reach out to him. Our relationship had been on the rocks for most of the year, for lots of reasons, none of which I will go into here.

Sometime between Soundgarden’s set and NIN coming on, the news hit. It went through the crowd like wildfire, I suppose because it hit the newswires about the same time. Still, the show went on, and for many reasons, some mentioned and some not, it was one of the most memorable shows I’ve ever seen.

Mr. Williams’s death still too big a thing for me to address. I don’t have the hours to find the perfect words that would tell you what his career and battle with alcoholism and mental illness meant to me, a stranger who never met him. You probably already know, quite honestly.

Continue reading “An Anniversary of Sorts”