Hello and welcome to Game of Thoughts! This is a feature in which I recap the latest episode of everyone’s favorite grimdark fantasy, Game of Thrones. We do things fun around here so for more in-depth coverage of big themes, check out Patrick Sponaugle‘s incredibly witty and fun blog posts. Note: These recaps WILL contain spoilers.
Let’s DO THIS!
Well folks, you can not get a more textbook example of a bridging episode than The Broken Man; there’s a lot of set up in this episode, and yet we still had a lot of fascinating developments as well as a bit of closure. I wondered myself who the title might be referring to given the vast selection of damaged men in this story, and I am giving myself a gold star for thinking it would be Sandor Clegane*. We are go for Cleganebowl and I couldn’t be more excited!
- It Takes a Big Man to Handle That Much Pole – A big hand for the showrunners giving us about 10 seconds of suspense before dispensing with a long-running fan theory. Whether Sandor Clegane returning to play was part of GRRM’s plan or not, we are super glad to see him back and I am totally not writing fan fiction where he helps me rake up all the goddamn leaves in my back yard and then we throw a raging BBQ kegger. <3 S.C. + J.B = 4evar! <3 It’s also super nice to see some folks getting work done in a positive way in Westeros. And look! That building was made of wood instead of corpses! Now that’s social progress!
- The High Sparrow Does Not Respect Boundaries – It was super gross of him to be asking Maeareragary about her marital duties and color me not surprised that his views on sex are that dudes like it and women have to put up with it. He clearly hasn’t met Yara Greyjoy. The moment between Maeraragrary and Olenna was magnificent, especially the former’s emotional turmoil at saying goodbye to her beloved mentor. Olenna hating on Shame Nun gives me life.
- Giants Are Swing Vote States By Themselves– When Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun stands up, people listen, as well they should. He may be monosyllabic, but his body language speaks volumes. Not much else happened in this scene.
- Olenna Saw This Coming From A Mile Away – Oh Cersei, it’s so cute when you try to play the game. The fact that Cersei has always had a powerful man backing her is so perfectly illustrated by Dead Mountain looming in the background, like the ghost of Tywin. Let go of your Daddy issues and be free, Cersei! You have the power! Olenna has no use for this mess and can’t believe what she’s hearing. I must say I don’t trust Cersei myself, especially when she slips phrases like ‘The only truth I know’ into casual conversations. Could have been the writers just turning a phrase, OR it could have been a very, very subtle reminder of what happens to people who don’t play by the Lannisters’ rules since that phrase is straight out of ‘The Rains of Castamere’ alias The Lannister FIGHT ME Song.
- Team Jamie, Live In the Riverlands – Jaime and Bronn are on the road again and I’m delighted. I’ve been waiting for this storyline for a long time, being a big book-Jaime fan. I’m sure he can get this hash all settled eventually, with a minimum of fuss, and hopefully get back on the Road to Recovery. The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem with banging your sister, and the other eleven steps are all just not banging your sister. I love Tobias Menzies as Edmure even though he barely gets to do anything. His sigh of relief was a treat.
- The Baddest Little Sister of Bear Island – Lyanna Mormont is a gift. I am sure she’ll wind up engaged to Rickon or something, and if she’s into that then GO HER. I would expect nothing less from Jeor Mormont’s granddaughter, although she can’t be Jorah’s daughter. Maybe she’s his niece? Whatever, she’s great.
- Ironborn Spring Break WOOOO!! – I have no idea where Yara and her team are right now but shirts and shoes are not required. Everyone is having a great time but Theon, for many reasons, the least of which because his party equipment was removed. Yara’s pep talk was a little grim (‘Cheer up and get over your shit or off yourself’ was how it went) but it seems to have worked and I’m very curious what Tyrion and Varys will make of Theon Greyjoy in Meereen. Also ‘You had a few bad years’ is my new favorite insanely dismissive understatement. But another hand for Alfie Allen for a great performance – you could really see the old Theon emerge.
- Sansa is Looking Shifty – I suspect she’s writing to Robin Arryn, and how hilarious will that be when that kid rolls up to their army. The show could be half an hour of reaction takes from Davos, Jon, and Tormund and still be great television. I really hoped poor Robin would get his shit together. However, his earlier scene in the season indicates he’s still sitting at the little kids’ table using safety scissors.
- The Seven-Foot Samurai – We really didn’t need a slaughter of innocents to get Clegane back into the game, showrunners. And that was just a waste of good Ian McShane. Whatever, somebody’s coming down with a case of Ax to the face and I’m really looking forward to that. “Violence is a disease” is a great line. Full disclosure – I’m very afraid that Sandor will kill Dead Mountain, but die himself in the process. I wonder if Arya will be back in King’s Landing by then and they can share a moment. I will cry huge salty tears, which the showrunners can collect and make martinis out of, thus giving them sustenance for another week.
- I’m on An Emotional Rollercoaster of Emotion – Arya Stark is doing great! Arya Stark is looking out at the Titan of Braavos in contentment and self-assuredness and is ready to go home and get her life back. There is a little old lady FUCK. Well, I should have seen that coming. And how is she not dead? The waif had an arm like a jackhammer and that knife went DEEP. I’m probably deluded, but I really hope Jaqen realizes she’s on to something way bigger than the next murder contract and decides to help her. That guy’s a little piece of all right. The waif is terrible and Arya should kill her with a brick.
I’ve just rewatched the first four seasons over the past week (had to take a break at one point and watch Bob Ross, just to lighten the mental load) and I am READY for some big shit to go down. Episodes 8-10 are usually the heavy hitters of the season, when the really big beats land, so we’ll be seeing Cleganebowl, a battle, and who knows what else?
- Brienne and Jaime – It’s going down in the Riverlands! Jaime’s at his full strength but minus a hand, and Brienne has done one thing since she last fought Jaime – get better. The shitty thing is I literally can’t decide who I want to win more, and I’m afraid we’re losing a main character in this fight. Show-Jaime seems a lot less conflicted about his feelings for Cersei, and I’m wondering if he’s taking the ‘Suicide by Cop’ option since he knows he’ll never shake that blonde monkey off his back. MAN I will be sad if that happens.
- Cersei Takes a Stand – Man, poor Lancel. Remember Lancel? He was so fun. He just needed a dreamy expression, a lyre, and a hillside and he would have been That Guy. Well he’s going down in front of Dead Mountain like grass under a mower, so wave good bye!
So! Those’re my thoughts, such as they are, on this week’s episode of Game of Thrones! Please tune in next week – things are really speeding up now, the drama is practically hurtling along. I hope we can stand the excitement!