Hello and welcome to Game of Thoughts! I’m still alive and carving time out of my busy weeks for some Game of Thrones goodness. These posts WILL contain spoilers. They are nothing more than a recap and chance for GoT fans to have a bit of a natter and react as situations permit. They were inspired by the incredible, in-depth and insightful posts of Patrick Sponaugle, except his are intelligent and mine are just squeeing.
Remember how I said last week I thought this episode would probably be boring because the show’s budget is limited and they have to sometimes have a filler episode where not much happens? Don’t listen to me. I mean read this post, but don’t listen to me. I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore.
HOLY HAND GRENADES, FOLKS. This episode wasn’t just full of emotional beats and pants-fulling action, it was also chock full of brilliant callbacks to previous conflicts, often in the form of quotes. So let’s get busy!
Ha ha, LOSERS!
- The Reach is getting screwed in the wake of Olenna Tyrell’s death, as Lannister forces are stripping it of everything useful to take back to King’s Landing. Bronn is walking away with a nice big bag of gold, more money that he would have seen in a lifetime otherwise, but he’s never been a man to think small. Now he wants a castle, and Jaime tells him All right, fine, you can have a castle if you stop whining and also when we’re done winning this war. Put your shoes on, we’re almost at Grandma’s.
“Thought You Might Like This, Someone Tried to Kill You With It.”
- Right out of the gate we have Littlefinger giving Bran the Valyrian steel dagger someone tried to murder him with aallllll those episodes ago, and thus try to wrest some kind of emotional control over Bran. But surprise! Bran is a sociopath now who is All-Knowing All-Seeing, as he hints when his eyes turn black and he quotes one of Littlefinger’s own little homilies at him: “Chaos is a Ladder.” Littlefinger is renowned for his intelligence, but unfortunately his kind of smarts were the kind that would get you places in King’s Landing before magic and monsters came back, and he’s having trouble adjusting. I would feel bad for him except I never will, he is terrible.
- Aw! You can’t just dump Meera Reed like that, Bran! Bad Form! But we kind of knew that was coming. Sucks. I wonder if she’ll bring Howland Reed to Winterfell? It’d be nice to get some closure on that loose plot thread.
“You Need Better Guards.”
- AND ARYA HAS RETURNED! The scene with the dumbass guardsmen went on just as perfectly as it had to, and was a nice callback to the time Arya got lost under the Red Keep and some similar guardsmen gave her shit at the gate. And because she is a grownup now, she handled it like a queen. And when she and Sansa were reunited in the crypts my heart grew three sizes, and THEN when Arya and Brienne were reunited and showing proper respect to each other I also had a moment, and then they fought and I got all teary with joy, and then when Littlefinger realized he was surrounded by powerful women who aren’t fooled by his bullshit, I nearly died of an enlarged heart.
- And more importantly, SANSA is realizing that the Starks are back together again and the lineup has changed a little but when they do their next tour they will be the hottest thing to hit Westeros since Balerion’s halitosis*. Seeing them together and solving mysteries was so, so good. I hope Littlefinger went directly back to his room to pack.
“The Queen is Gone.”
- Danaerys needs Missandei to spill the tea like ten minutes ago, but then they are interrupted by Davos and Jon with Important Plot Stuff. Specifically, Jon needs her to see that he’s hit the dragonglass lottery and also that the Children of the Forest thankfully left the receipts laying around concerning the White Walkers, so now Danaerys believes him and is on board with that. I was pretty sure they were going to make out in there, but we can’t have everything.
- Outside, Jon speaks some truth to Danaerys concerning her war strategies, which she takes to heart, but sort of also not as we will see and discuss later. She was being unnecessarily hard on Tyrion and calling his loyalty into question – I’m sure that will come into play again later.
- Davos is such a Dad to these people. I am here for it because they need it. He and Missandei are the smartest people around and everyone should listen to them more.
- There was a moment there where I forgot Theon had saved Sansa and was pretty sure we were about to see Alfie Allen’s last scene of the show, but then I was reminded he saved her and so Jon let him live for ONLY that reason. And Jon also got to deliver the important line of the show, “The Queen is Gone.”
- So back in the Reach Jaime is still trying to be the good boss, although Dickon/Rickon/Whatever isn’t too impressed with him and Bronn laughing was a moment of joy.
- I had honestly forgotten what badasses the Dothraki Screamers were – I mean dudes in leather vests with no armor riding at heavily armored men with spears and archers (possible flame arrows!) seemed like throwing grass at a mower, but they really handled themselves well! And even if they didn’t….
- We’ve been waiting so long for this and yes it is kind of terrible because dragonfire reduces a human being to burnt marshmallows in zero time and the horrors of war and so forth… but Danaerys is finally taking her place in Westerosi history and she is beginning the entry with Fire and Blood. It was a little dumb that she burned the loot (WHICH WAS IMPORTANT STUFF SHE COULD HAVE USED) but whatever, I can’t say I’d be Mr. Spock if I was on the back of a flying, fire-breathing dragon until I am in that same position. Hell, I almost forgot to wear shoes to work last week.
- Bronn is the one and only mofo I could have imagined using that dumb thing accurately, and he did manage to hit Drogon. It’s just kind of like throwing a dart at a charging bear: he’s really damned surprised you hurt him, but once he gets over the surprise and stops fussing over the tiny pinch of pain, you are going to have a bad time. And now Cersei’s Secret Weapon is kindling, so I guess she and Qyburn will have to come up with some new devilry. Since she has no imagination and flings Dead Mountain at all her problems, the chances of getting a giant airborne zombie flung at a flying dragon in the next episode just skyrocketed.
- When Jaime picked up that spear, I started screaming ‘NO JAIME NO’ ….but in my heart I was like ‘YES JAIME YES’ because I was SURE he was about to go out like a Goddamned Legend. What better way could he go than being burned to death? What else has he got? He’s too damned stubborn to give up on Cersei, his children are dead and he has lost faith in his family’s right to rule, Dany taking the Iron Throne is all but a definite and except for Tyrion there’s not much room for Lannisters in Dany’s new Westeros. And Tyrion was right there, he would have seen his brother end like the hero he always imagined him to be. And then Bronn (I rewatched that scene and am 90% it was Bronn) saved him. Sort of. And I am conflicted. What else do the gods have in store for Jaime? I bet Danaerys will demand Tyrion kill him to prove his loyalty. Or something.
GOSH. My heart was literally pounding through this whole episode and my fingers were shaking while I tried to type! I had no idea I’d need to take up cardio just for this season!
*Extreme ASOIAF nerd humor.