A Desperately Needed Laugh

I don’t think I’ll be doing a Game of Thoughts this week – I spend a lot of time scrolling through my Facebook feed and wondering what the hell people are thinking when they post insane shit about Pulse.

A friend of mine lifts heavy. He is also a brilliant artist, rapier wit, and all around awesome human being. He showed me a Craigslist ad he wrote for a truck tire he’s selling, and it provided me with a much-needed laugh.

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When you play the game of tires, you flip, or you die.

Here’s a GIANT TIRE for all your tire flipping macho needs. If you can flip it, you’re significantly more macho than I am. I’ll use this smaller one and just suffer through the taunts and jeers of neighborhood schoolchildren – unlike you, He-man Thunderthighs.

If you can fit your lower torso into a vehicle to come to my house, you can easily throw this immovable object into your man-hauler. I will not help, as I thought of moving it across the yard earlier to retrieve my purse and ended up getting a hernia and my beard fell off.

For the low-low cost of $30 I’ll cower in fear and point at the tire in my backyard and you can drag it to your truck, or just farmer’s walk it back to your cave. For $35, I’ll wipe my tears off of it first.

Seriously, though. For $30, it’s a steal and you know it. I think it’s roughly 500lb, but I can’t be sure. I can arguably and unprovably deadlift 400 and that thing about made my eyes fall out. Bring a truck and help. If I have to help, I’ll need you to pay me a couple grand to cover blowing my intestines out my belly button.

Call or text show contact info If you call, I won’t pick up and will screen voicemails. I’m avoiding the local schoolkids jeering at me for about dying when I purchased this monster and dropped it and my broken dignity in the backyard. If you’re reading this, it’s still available – and I’m still soaking my ego in epsom salts. Help me. …in the picture, the tire has plastic on it to prevent small animals from mocking me further by setting up a home in it’s sturdy and immovable interior.

Here is a link to his website, for some of his AMAZING artwork! Enjoy!

SteveNedley.com.

I don’t think I’ll be doing a Game of Thoughts this week – I spend a lot of time scrolling through my Facebook feed and wondering what the hell people are thinking when they post insane shit about Pulse. I’d rather just post two episodes next Monday. Day by day, we get a little bit back to normal, whatever that normal was. I will quote Catlyn Stark though – “Laughter is poison to fear.”

Thank you for keeping Orlando in your thoughts. I hope this gave you a laugh, too!

One Hit At a Time!

Some of these are things I can do something about. Some of them are things I must accept and deal with to the best of my ability. As anyone who has read Slaughterhouse-Five or been through recovery knows, the important thing is knowing the difference.

I had not intended these check-ins to become a regular feature, but life piles up and here we are.

Here is the Current State of Affairs in the Benevolent Dictatorship of Jennsylvania.

The Good:

  • I have been writing almost 3k words a night for the last week, not including blog posts. I also have some places I want to send my fiction and nonfiction writing. I attended a cool spoken word performance Saturday night, am going to a writer’s group with friends Tuesday night, and to another writing group Wednesday night. Writing and I have our teeth in each other again, and neither is backing down.
  • I am working out with coworkers in the parking lot after work. I forgot my workout clothes but don’t care, I’ll do it barefoot in my work capris and blouse. We do calisthenics and kettlebells like the wild savages we are, and it’s AWESOME.
  • I am going out of town this weekend for my family reunion. I’ve made Herzog’s appointment to be boarded at the vet, and  must remember to pack his favorite toys, something to snuggle, and a bag of spinach as a treat because he is a very strange cat.
  • I have to make something to take to the reunion, so I am making the Pioneer Woman’s Green Bean Casserole recipe. I made it a few years ago for the holidays and it was a big hit.
  • I have a new blue dress for the reunion and it is cute. I am excited.

The Bad:

  • Some fucko stole some personal information and tried to use to it to file a false tax return. This is coming JUST as I have paid off some major debts and a light appeared at the end of the tunnel. So help me, the light will not turn out to be the dumpster fire of some jackwad ruining my credit. NO SIR. I put fraud alerts on my accounts.
  • This might be the tip of an iceberg of a bigger problem. I am being VERY careful.
  • Because of a snafu with my insurance, I may have to find a new therapist. I go to a therapist once a month to check and make sure my head is staying on straight, and now I must either change after 3 years and get a referral, OR I could keep going to her and paying her whole fee out of pocket, which I can’t afford.
  • I have been loaned to another project at work, so I have two different projects to keep up with right now.

The Ugly:

  • THREE separate friends are battling cancer in various forms. All I can do is be there for them, cook them healthful meals, and offer them rides and a shoulder when they need it, but what I wish most fervently is for cancer to magically take human form so I can take it apart with my bare hands. THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO IT.
  • The news is depressing as shit and I have all but given up on keeping up with it in depth, and just follow sound bites which is the worst way to follow news.

How We Do

Some of these are things I can do something about. Some of them are things I must accept and deal with, to the best of my ability. As anyone who has read Slaughterhouse-Five or been through recovery knows, the important thing is knowing the difference.

I am strong enough to weather the things I cannot change.

And as far as the things I CAN change…

brideburiedalive.gif

 

… Around here, we take those problems One. Hit. At. A. Time.